I have a very close friend from high school that I have not spoken with in almost 12 years. Before that time we talked daily on the phone and spent many evenings and weekends together. I was one of 2 bridesmaids for her wedding and that event sadly ended up being a major source of contention and strife for our friendship. As she was planning her wedding I helped by organizing the bridal shower as well as helping shop for gowns and other wedding related items. At the time I was comimg to realize some truths about myself, namely that I was gay, so I was definately going through my own journey at the same time as her. Because of several incidents related to the wedding our friendship ended. I was heart broken at the time and felt slighted but being the extreme coward that I am I could not pick up the phone and apologize for hurt feelings. And because of this I lost my friend.
We reconnected 3 years ago on Facebook but even after messages sent back and forth numerous times I have not been able to talk with her on the phone. I miss her and the closeness that we had. She has known me longer than any other friend in my life. Throughout my senior year in HS we sang in a Madrigal group together, we were friends through my time at Peabody and she came to visit me during my Master's degree program at Juilliard. She was even able to come to a coffee house I organized for the dorm students at Juilliard and where I heard Audra McDonald sing for the first time (one word-wow!)
I've come to realize that life is just too short to hold on to hurt feelings and lost friends. I need to acknowledge the mistakes I made in the past and move towards a new friendship with her. I made the first move tonight- I messaged her on FB and gave her my phone number and asked her to call tomorrow. And she is going to call. I feel nervous after so much time but also excited to have this connection again with someone who once meant so much to me.
Have you reconnected with an old friend after hurt feelings and time passed?
Wish me luck!
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I hope the two of you have a wonderful conversation and are able to reconnect.
ReplyDeleteI am anxious to hear how the reunion call went. I am proud of you for taking that step to rebuild bridges that once spanned a good friendship. I have been thru this, a very bitter breakup with a dear friend who gave his life over to alcohol consumption and became not so nice in the process. Several years of silence lapsed between us until about a year ago when I received a msg on my cellphone, apologizing for past hurts and saying that he wanted me to call, but would understand if I chose not to. I did call, and we were able to pick up where we left off long ago, sharing laughter, and sadness, and the ups and downs of daily life. I always felt a part of my heart was missing during our estrangement. I am so glad he had the courage to come forward, and I appreciated that he took responsibility for what had transpired. That paved the way for forgiveness and love to wash things new.
ReplyDeleteWishing the same blessing for you and your friend.
Our phone call went well. It was so nice hearing her voice again. She is also the mommy of two little guys so we were talking kids for a lot of the conversation. It felt really good to apologize for hurt feelings and past mistakes. We are going to try and meet up this summer so the kids can meet- I can't wait!
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